ipod, my friend, my saving grace.

Things have really looked up for me since I remembered that wearing my ipod when I go out really helps control the stabby urges.

See, walking through town in China, a hundred people will yell "Hello!" at you, in much the same way as stupid guys at home catcall at you as they drive by: they don't *really* expect a response, but if they did get one they would probably laugh no matter what it was, and if they got a serious response they would have no idea what to do with it. If you need to ask them a question or need help with something, god knows they don't actually speak English. Hello is probably the only word they know. Oh, and this one guy who always yells at me also knows "I love you!" If it sounds cute, trust me that it loses its charm.

Also on the street in China: honking. Oh god, so much honking. Drivers in China (especially smaller towns) LOVE to honk. They honk to let you know that they are coming towards you and won't be stopping, so get the hell out of the way. They honk instead of signalling. They honk because they are out driving and it is a nice day. They honk because they are annoyed. They honk because they have a horn. They honk because they love to honk.*

People in China also love to argue (see: bargaining) and shout (see: everyday conversation). I am not sure if people do this in Canada because I think I mainly notice the shouting since it's in a language I don't understand. I don't think so though. It just seems like Chinese people often get worked up when they converse. Then each party will walk away happy and calm, and when you ask what the long, heated conversation was about, they will say, "He said that the supermarket is just over there. Let's go." So a walk down market street will undoubtedly be filled with the sound of Chinese kids yelling at each other, people bickering, and general bitchiness, all of which will be forgotten by them moments later with no trace of hostility remaining.

The fourth noise to be heard on the street in China is the most ear-bleeding: every popular store will have a different obnoxious song playing. Always clashing with the song of the store next door, and always painfully loud. Usually involving techno, with the occasional sappy ballad to mix it up. As a guide, Chinese people's favourite English songs are "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, that song whose name I forget but whose tune I never can by Richard Marx, and anything by Britney Spears as long as it's a few years old. Normally they play Chinese music, I just give these as a guide to how lousy the usual selection is.

So, ipod. My beautiful apple-green ipod, Neko, is a good friend to me in these hard times. Thank you, Grandma, for buying her for me!! She makes my trips to town bearable and even quite pleasant.**




*Fun fact: My Chinese friend Lynn always forgets the word "hike" and usually says, "We are going to honk up that mountain." This has nothing to do with driving, it's just funny.

**I would like to point out at this time that trips to town are not always unpleasant, only that sometimes the madness is overwhelming. Neko helps to mitigate the madness.

Me vs. the mosquitoes

The most striking thing about Suzhou so far is the mosquitoes. Just kidding...sort of.

Imagine trying to get to sleep every night only to be ripped from the verge of blissful oblivion by whining mosquitoes dive-bombing your face. Pleasant, right!? Truly, the pleasure can only be exceeded by the delight that is waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror to find some fifty angry red bites all over your face, hands and arms. You can tell you slept on your left side and tried in vain to hide most of your skin, because the bites are concentrated on the right side of your face--presumably the only thing that was showing above the covers. Several bites across the knuckles may indicate that your mosquito-attacking skills may be somewhat lacking in the middle of the night.

You stalk off to town not once, not twice, but three, possibly four times, and finally, eventually, figure out what you can buy and get it home. With the help of your Chinese neighbour/lady in charge of teachers' apartment stuff, you erect what appears to be a lacy tent on top of your mattress, with your bedding inside. Bizarre? Absolutely. But oddly satisfying, in the end.

Jackie - 1
wen zi (oh yes, I've learned their Chinese name by now)- ZERO!!!!